The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Today, I changed my patterns.
I’m pretty predictable as a person. My friends know me as someone who will never let another person down, I help until I can’t help anymore, and even then, I go past my own capabilities to help someone.
It’s taken me a really long time to realise you can’t help someone until they help themselves.
But usually with me, the pattern goes something like:
- Friend gets themselves in some kind of trouble
- Friend contacts me for help (money related usually)
- I bail the person out
- Friend makes the same mistakes soon after
Today, 2 things happened, I was asked for help by a friend, and someone contacted me who really shouldn’t have.
Firstly, I visited a close friend today and let’s just say, they aren’t exactly doing so great. However, I’m not entirely sure they are helping themselves. Usually, I’d be all for bailing someone out, in the hopes that that gesture will kick them into changing, not today.
I was asked, I said no. I offered to buy a weeks worth of groceries instead, they turned that offer down.
Therefore, not my problem. It’s sad, but I need to stop acting in the same way, and enabling those people around me to not change. I expect that they will every time, and they don’t.
The other thing that happened, a few days ago I posted about how I’d deleted some people off of Facebook who serves no purpose in my life, and I won’t let them make a fool out of me anymore. I think I also said that I’m sure I’ll hear from them again at some stage, as they always come crawling back. Surprise, Surprise. I woke up to a text message this morning from one of them, asking me to come spend the weekend with them.
The way I usually deal with this person is first, I always reply. It doesn’t matter what the current scenario in my life is, I will always reply. Sadly, over the years, they haven’t always replied to me. Instead, making me look stupid, and playing some sort of sick game.
But since I’m all about changing patterns right now, I thought today was a good day to start. I didn’t reply. Currently, I’m feeling pretty bad about that, I can’t explain why. It’s all a big game to this person though, because I know if I replied, they wouldn’t, or they would a few days later with some fucked up excuse. I’m too old for this, and I don’t deserve to be treated like this.
Actions speak louder than words, I’m done with ‘thank yous’ when no actions come from that thank you. I will not play into this insanity anymore.