Day 8: Hypocrite.

8 days in & I have to go quiet for awhile.

I’m feeling like a hypocrite, how can I blog about doing things that make you happy, and growing as a person, and not letting negative people take control anymore, when last night, I found myself right back to 2 years ago, and it was my choice to go there too.

I’m dealing with the aftermath of that decision now, and I honestly don’t know what made me send that text or drive to another city or get myself lost again in a smile. All day I’ve kept telling myself that this isn’t going to affect me, I’ve done so much changing in 2 years that it can’t affect me anymore. How can it not?! Because the game has started again, and I’m sitting here, riddled with anxiety, waiting for a text that will never come.

Last night, I let back in the person who dropped me from a very high height and shattered me into a million pieces. I’ve spent the last year rebuilding myself, and not being able to find certain pieces to put back. I am a better person now for it, I am more assertive, and I demand nothing but the best for my life. So why did I reach out last night? Why did I think that looking at them wouldn’t hurt? It hurts, and it’s self-inflicted, so no sympathies.

One thought on “Day 8: Hypocrite.

  1. You have the power in your decisions and you can take back that power at anytime!! We all make mistakes that’s why we’re human. Push on, learn and keep going and keep writing xoox

    Liked by 1 person

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